As carers we meet many professionals from Health, Social Services and Education. Professionals will have knowledge, experience and expertise in their own areas but remember that you are the person who knows your child or adult dependant best and your contribution to any consultation, assessment or review will be invaluable.  The ideal situation is for parents or carers to work in partnership with professionals and to establish a good working relationship.  This does not mean accepting and agreeing, without question, all that professionals say. Professionals can be wrong. Try to express your views courteously but assertively and don’t hesitate to ask if there is something you don’t understand or feel you need to know more about. The following are some ideas that may help when working with professionals:

	If you can, try and keep notebooks or records on your child’s history; people and places seen; letters with dates sent or received; recommendations made or topics discussed at meetings.  This may be particularly important in medical matters as you will often be asked for a medical history.
	Before you go to a meeting or appointment, write down the points you want to make or questions you want to ask.  Take your list with you so you can refer to it before you leave the meeting.
	Remember you can always take a friend along for support to any meetings or appointments.
	If there is something you don’t understand, ask.  If you have questions that arise after the meeting, write, or get someone else to write with the points you wanted to make.
	Take notes during the meeting, as it's easy to forget the details of what has been discussed.
	If there are terms or names that you think you might forget, ask for them to be written down for you.
	Be honest.  If you don’t understand, are not happy with something, think you are not being given all the information, don’t like the way you are treated, or need more help, say so.  You don’t have to be aggressive and in most cases professionals appreciate feedback, good or bad, as this helps them improve their service.

Both you and your family have a right to be supported emotionally and practically.  Make use of all the resources that are available such as: financial support (see chapter on benefits); practical help offered, for example, by family and friends, Adult and Community Services and voluntary groups; counselling services and respite care.  When you accept the help that is offered don’t be shy about asking for what hasn’t been offered to help you.

Where possible try to avoid extra stresses by planning and preparing for future events which are likely to difficult to manage, this helps to prevent potential crises before they happen. Examples are, using respite care, your child leaving school or leaving home or a hospital admission.
 

COUNSELLING

The term “counselling” is used to cover a wide range of services and is offered by many organizations and individuals.   Contact your GP for advice on counselling.

Before becoming involved in counselling, it is important to ask what training the counsellor has had and what he or she is able to offer.
 

HAMBLETON AND RICHMONDSHIRE ADVOCACY

This is an independent organisation that can offer volunteer advocates to give help and support on a range of issues, for example, writing letters, completing forms, attending meetings, dealing with people in authority.   This is a free service and is offered to everyone.   For further information contact: